As a father of four small children, I must say it’s tempting to choose as my favourite of the ten commandments the fifth:
“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.” - Exodus 20:12
But, in our current culture where parents are often viewed as equal partners (with the child) in the raising of their children (I object to both the terms “partners” and “raising”), where teenage rebellion is a rite of passage and sin is considered a necessary part of coming of age, where a favourite pastime among adults is to compare stories of “foolish/irritating/sinful things my parents have done”, where parents are frequently portrayed in mass entertainment as well-meaning, but out of touch buffoons, what is a Christian parent to do?
As a father, God has placed upon me the responsibility of teaching my family the things of the Lord, of discipling my children and wife and providing a place where Christ is reflected to all those around us and God is glorified. I have been praying for God’s grace to help me fulfill these tasks, and here’s how that relates to the fifth commandment:
1. Teach them.
It’s hard for them to obey the commands of God is they have never been taught them. So, part of our pre-meal ritual is to systematically review the truths of God and the basics of living christianly: sin, redemption, the Lord’s Prayer, the 10 commandments, and worship (including prayer, discipling and the ordinances). So, when the children are disrespectful to my wife or me, it is easier to explain to them that they are not just violating a house rule; they are violating one of God’s rules.
2. Be honourable
While each one is responsible for their own sin before God, there are things we can do to help each other in obedience (Heb 10:24). In this context, it will be far easier for our children to honour us, if we are honourable people. If we live humble lives, love mercy, act justly, show the fruits of the Spirit and hold courageously to the faith once delivered, obedience to this commandment will come much more naturally to our children.
3. Model it
How often do I mock my own parents, speak ill of their choices, or make jokes at their expense? Do I spend time laughing at things they have done or do? Have I complained about their parenting in front of my own children? Conversely, how often do I exalt my parents in front of my children? Do I frequently speak of the sacrifices my parents made for me? Of the inspiring things my parents have done? Do I extol the examples of character or godliness in our family tree? If I do not consistently honour and accentuate the admirable qualities of my parents and grandparents, ought I to be surprised if my own children do not obey the fifth commandment?
“Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.” - Exodus 20:12
But, in our current culture where parents are often viewed as equal partners (with the child) in the raising of their children (I object to both the terms “partners” and “raising”), where teenage rebellion is a rite of passage and sin is considered a necessary part of coming of age, where a favourite pastime among adults is to compare stories of “foolish/irritating/sinful things my parents have done”, where parents are frequently portrayed in mass entertainment as well-meaning, but out of touch buffoons, what is a Christian parent to do?
As a father, God has placed upon me the responsibility of teaching my family the things of the Lord, of discipling my children and wife and providing a place where Christ is reflected to all those around us and God is glorified. I have been praying for God’s grace to help me fulfill these tasks, and here’s how that relates to the fifth commandment:
1. Teach them.
It’s hard for them to obey the commands of God is they have never been taught them. So, part of our pre-meal ritual is to systematically review the truths of God and the basics of living christianly: sin, redemption, the Lord’s Prayer, the 10 commandments, and worship (including prayer, discipling and the ordinances). So, when the children are disrespectful to my wife or me, it is easier to explain to them that they are not just violating a house rule; they are violating one of God’s rules.
2. Be honourable
While each one is responsible for their own sin before God, there are things we can do to help each other in obedience (Heb 10:24). In this context, it will be far easier for our children to honour us, if we are honourable people. If we live humble lives, love mercy, act justly, show the fruits of the Spirit and hold courageously to the faith once delivered, obedience to this commandment will come much more naturally to our children.
3. Model it
How often do I mock my own parents, speak ill of their choices, or make jokes at their expense? Do I spend time laughing at things they have done or do? Have I complained about their parenting in front of my own children? Conversely, how often do I exalt my parents in front of my children? Do I frequently speak of the sacrifices my parents made for me? Of the inspiring things my parents have done? Do I extol the examples of character or godliness in our family tree? If I do not consistently honour and accentuate the admirable qualities of my parents and grandparents, ought I to be surprised if my own children do not obey the fifth commandment?
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