Five Through Ten – Through Love, Serve One Another

Jesus taught that the final six commandments can be summarized by loving our neighbour (Matt. 22:37-39), so this entry covers commandments five through ten.

Chores (or diligence tasks) have been a part of family life for a few years now, and, just as the children continue to grow and change, so too have the chore assignments. At Emily’s suggestion, we recently changed the morning chores. Everyone in our family is encouraged to “do all things without grumbling or disputing”, so, when Emily expressed her dissatisfaction with the way some morning chores were being done, we were pleased that she mentioned it in a helpful and respectful manner.

The way things had been done, Timothy would make all the beds, while Emily and Benjamin tidied her room and the boy’s room. Unfortunately, Benjamin is still learning to tidy and often the boy’s room was quite messy, so Emily was finding she and Ben were still working long after Timothy was finished. She therefore suggested that each child should make their own bed and clean their own room.

After dinner, and as a lead-in to our worship time, we discussed the morning chores and evaluated alternatives (including Emily’s suggestion). I began by reminding everyone that one of the things we try to teach and demonstrate with our morning chores is an attitude of service to one another. Philippians 2:3, 4 reminds us we should “with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Also, the theme verse for our chores is Galatians 5:13 “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”.

For this reason, none of us thought Emily’s suggestion of each child being exclusively responsible for their own bed and room was wise. Instead, after a very happy and excited conversation, we agreed that Timothy will continue to make all the beds, while Emily and Benjamin will tidy the rooms. Once Timothy is finished, he will tidy Philip’s nursery and teach Philip how to tidy up. Once a week, the jobs will rotate.

Anna and I were very pleased not only with the outcome, but with the attitude in which everyone participated in the discussion; they have a genuine desire to help and serve one another. We ended by praying, thanking God for wisdom and asking Him for humility to cheerfully serve. I also have been challenged to think more intensely about how I may serve my family and those around me.

Nine - Broken Chocolates and Weak Churches

Lying is forbidden in the ninth commandment and as the Sermon on the Mount makes clear, this is a call not just from sin, but to unquestionable truthfulness in all our dealings.

A recent incident with my middle son, Benjamin (3), reminded me of how failure to fully obey this commandment has contributed to the crisis of leadership we are seeing in the contemporary church.

A beautiful new box of boutique chocolates I had purchased for my wife was knocked from the table, the box badly torn and many of the chocolates ruined. Benjamin, the only one near when it happened, when questioned was reluctant to answer and what answers he did give denied any role in the accident. After a more thorough questioning in my study, it became obvious that he had been trying to tear open the box and dropped them. He was disciplined not only for the original infraction, but for the subsequent lies as well.

Truthfulness has a strong connection with responsibility. Conversely, lying typically involves avoidance of responsibilities. We will lie to avoid the consequences of our actions (E.g. “Who took the cookies from the jar?” “Philip did!”) or to deceive others (and possibly ourselves) about whom we are (to deny failings or exaggerate qualities).

Biblical masculinity and leadership involves taking responsibility for others and begins by taking responsibility for ourselves. Of course, we each throw ourselves upon the mercy of God and rely upon Him, but His grace and sovereignty do not in any way negate our responsibilities.

When a boy lies about stealing cookies, or the shifts the blame, or makes excuses (as Adam did in Gen. 3) he is trying to avoid responsibility (and, he hopes, the consequences) for his choices. If left unchecked, such a boy will, I fear, grow to be a man who does the same.

Good leadership also requires honesty about who we are. A good leader will have no illusions about his sinfulness but will deal with it by repentance and the forgiveness of God and others. But this requires unflinching honesty. Similarly, a godly leader will recognize which of his skills are weak and either strive to improve or wisely delegate.

A man who constantly puffs himself up and exaggerates his character or minimizes his faults will lack the clear sightedness necessary to properly address them. May God grant us godly leaders who speak and act truthfully.