Six - Like Oil on the Head

Psalm 133

A Song of Ascents, of David.

Behold, how good and how pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together in unity!
It is like the precious oil upon the head,
Coming down upon the beard,
Even Aaron's beard,
Coming down upon the edge of his robes.
It is like the dew of Hermon
Coming down upon the mountains of Zion;
For there the LORD commanded the blessing--life forever.


There has been a lot of sickness at our house recently; at least one person in the family has been ill each day for the past two weeks. One of the practical results has been more impatience and frustration than is typical. As always, such is our sinfulness that inconveniences and mild discomfort makes us much more prone to sin than we normally are. So, our usually harmonious home has been scene to much disunity and even hostility.

The sixth commandment says, “You shall not kill” and while certainly things have not gotten that bad in our home, we understand that Jesus revealed the heart of this commandment to be much more than mere avoidance of physical murder. This is actually a call to reconciliation and harmonious relationships, a call away from anger and name-calling. Matthew 5:21-26 makes it very clear that we ought to strive to live peaceful lives, avoid unnecessary strife, and seek to be peacemakers.

We are concerned about the strife and argumentation and the damaged family cohesiveness that has resulted. We are therefore taking concrete, practical steps to address the problem.

We begin, as always, by understanding that underneath any sin (or lack of conformity to God’ will) is a spiritual issue that needs to be dealt with. In this case, we believe the lack of unity in our home is the result, not of a lack of focus on unity, but a lack of focus on the source of our unity. Emily and Timothy are both believers, so what unites the four of us is that we are joint-heirs of the Kingdom and have all been sealed by the Holy Spirit. So, if we want to live in harmony, we must focus on God our heavenly Father, and not on each other.

An analogy may be helpful here: if a large group of musicians wants to be in tune with each other, rather than tune to each other one by one, the quickest way is for all of them to tune to a common source, a reference note, like that produced by a tuning fork or the concert master. If they are each in tune with the reference note, they will necessarily be in tune with each other. So too, if we Christians want to be in harmony with each other (to mix the metaphor slightly), we must all be in tune with our reference note; our Father, God.

So then, we are taking the following three steps to help restore our family’s harmony, by God’s grace.

Because family unity begins with each heart being transformed, we have decided to recommit ourselves to individual prayer and growth. I confess my prayer times have been poor the past several weeks, and, where once we had quiet prayer times scheduled for our children, we have also let those slide because of the illness. We have made scheduled times of individual prayer a part of our day once again.

Because corporate worship is unifying for all true believers, we have recommitted ourselves to our regular family worship times, even in the throes of sickness. This has been ongoing and a struggle at times, but the systematic teaching of the Word and praying and singing together is central to our family life. We are always looking for ways to make this a meaningful time that benefits all of us and glorifies God, and illness just makes the logistics more challenging but not overwhelming.

Finally, because the Bible is God’s primary means of revealing himself to us, we have decided to remind ourselves of verses we have memorized (James 4:1,2 for example) and to add Psalm 133 and James 1:2-4 to the ones we have memorized.

We are praying that God will bless our family and allow this time of tribulation to help us grow in grace and patience.

Five Through Ten – Through Love, Serve One Another

Jesus taught that the final six commandments can be summarized by loving our neighbour (Matt. 22:37-39), so this entry covers commandments five through ten.

Chores (or diligence tasks) have been a part of family life for a few years now, and, just as the children continue to grow and change, so too have the chore assignments. At Emily’s suggestion, we recently changed the morning chores. Everyone in our family is encouraged to “do all things without grumbling or disputing”, so, when Emily expressed her dissatisfaction with the way some morning chores were being done, we were pleased that she mentioned it in a helpful and respectful manner.

The way things had been done, Timothy would make all the beds, while Emily and Benjamin tidied her room and the boy’s room. Unfortunately, Benjamin is still learning to tidy and often the boy’s room was quite messy, so Emily was finding she and Ben were still working long after Timothy was finished. She therefore suggested that each child should make their own bed and clean their own room.

After dinner, and as a lead-in to our worship time, we discussed the morning chores and evaluated alternatives (including Emily’s suggestion). I began by reminding everyone that one of the things we try to teach and demonstrate with our morning chores is an attitude of service to one another. Philippians 2:3, 4 reminds us we should “with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Also, the theme verse for our chores is Galatians 5:13 “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.”.

For this reason, none of us thought Emily’s suggestion of each child being exclusively responsible for their own bed and room was wise. Instead, after a very happy and excited conversation, we agreed that Timothy will continue to make all the beds, while Emily and Benjamin will tidy the rooms. Once Timothy is finished, he will tidy Philip’s nursery and teach Philip how to tidy up. Once a week, the jobs will rotate.

Anna and I were very pleased not only with the outcome, but with the attitude in which everyone participated in the discussion; they have a genuine desire to help and serve one another. We ended by praying, thanking God for wisdom and asking Him for humility to cheerfully serve. I also have been challenged to think more intensely about how I may serve my family and those around me.